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It’s strange but sometimes being helpful is overrated.
I know that it’s important to be helpful, positive, and civil but you have to carve out time for yourself every day in order to get your work done and meet your deadlines, and yet we often get stretched/burnout because we are sometimes doing things which we are not supposed to be doing.
The problem here is not “knowing” how to say No.
Most of the time it has happened to me, where I am working on something and I have colleagues/superior coming to me and saying can you join this last min meeting, talk to the XYZ team on their request or simply look at this report (especially if you are a Project Manager this happens a lot, where something somewhere is burning !!).
Many times I tend to say “Yes ” to such random requests and give up my work or lose my chain of thought to assist someone else.
Well if it happens occasionally it’s not a problem but if you notice such things happening more than often then it can be a problem. I learned it the hard way where I spent too much time assisting my co-workers or work that was not to be owned by me and had my actual work sidelined to such an extent that I missed my deadline and ended up giving reasons which on the hindsight was actually embarrassing.
Risks of Saying “Yes” to Everything.
- You might seem like a doormat, where others can push off their work onto you !!
- You end up becoming the go-to person when anyone needs help. The bad part is, you will be reached for help before they could even try solving the problem. This in turn will create more work for yourself with the overbearing workload.
- Eventually, people would not care and will start assuming that your work is just as important as theirs. !! This for me is the scary part cause then there is no line drawn between what is yours vs theirs and leads to more confusion.
After going through many articles and online pieces of training I found these simple rules from Todd Dewett which I will follow to say NO going forward…
THE RULES:
Rule 1: Say “No” – When the request is not an EMERGENCY! If the request means that I have to voluntarily interrupt my work then it better be important. Again you have to be mindful about this and be the judge when qualifying a request to be an emergency. Sometimes a random request can be easily disguised as an important request which needs to be done Right now !!
Rule 2: Say “No” – When you’re focused and making progress – Most of the time you are in the zone and working on the most important work and also making progress. In such cases, when a random request comes your way you can be merciless and say “NO” and save your momentum.
Rule 3: Say “NO” – When you need to meet a deadline – It like murphy’s law – where the universe somehow comes to know about your deadline and you are bombarded with other requests that need to be worked on. In addition, you will also have your team members asking for a smaller request. The lesson here is simple, Do NOT Jeopardise your Deadline. Give it the priority that it deserves.
THE SOLUTION:
In cases like above where you have to say NO, you have to find the right way to deny the request.
Here is how you can do this – It’s important that you be polite, smile and say “Of course, I will help you but not right this min…” and Look at your calendar or a Daily/ weekly planner and suggest a time where either you will reach out to them or they can contact you… I tried this a few times and MOST of the time people are fine with this approach.
This will not disrupt your work but will also reassure your colleague that you will help them shortly. It’s a win-win situation.
Being helpful is terribly important but if we have to manage our time and work effectively, we should learn to say NO.
Let me know if you want to try these or have already tried them and how did it go ! Also, if there is anything else you do to say NO effectively do share them in the comment section.
