As I was growing up, I always believed in practicing Yoga and pranayama. But as I started working, I somehow could not include this in my routine. In 2020, I decided to start my meditation practice again and installed a wonderful app called CALM.
After trying many sessions there, I came across this program which ran for 21 days covering various concepts of Meditation, and by the end of these 21 days, I was completely hooked to the idea of meditation. Now that I have made meditation part of my daily routine, below are my latest stats, looking at which I feel extremely proud.. 🙂
How meditation helped me :
- Although I definitely need loads and loads of practice, I manage to notice and distinguish if a thought that is in my mind is disturbing. If yes, I am doing my best to let it pass.
- Equinimity – I love this concept, it means being less reactive to external conditions.. I am not letting external conditions disturb my peace of mind.
- Impermanence: Practicing this has allowed me to see the bigger picture when I get sucked into emotional turmoil.. “This too shall pass ” is my mantra.
- Meditation has helped me in practicing Mindfulness.
- I understand now that mental health is extremely important for one’s success.
So let’s get on with the summary of what I practiced each day. Here is how you would read below…
Day: Topic of the meditation and brief of what it is about…
Practice tip: Things to follow when you start your meditation on the topic. Each practice should take you roughly 15 mins.
Day 1: Non- reactivity – Body Sensation:
- What we see as “Disappointment ” sometimes can be a stroke of luck, so its pointless to judge anything immediately.
- Non- reactivity will help us so that we are not thrown down with emotional distress.
Practice: How to respond non-reactively to sensations using body scan technique.
- Observe what you feel and all body sensations are constantly changing and practice non-reactivity.
- If there is a pain in the body part or an itch or tingly sensation, notice it and be open and curious to all the sensations and not be judgemental or reactive toward these sensations.
Day 2: Non- reactivity – Working with Sound.
- Sounds can trigger powerful emotions. Example dog barking while you are reading, honking while sleeping.
- It takes great patience to practice non-reactivity for such sounds.
Practice Tips:
- Focus on the sound that you hear now.
- Pay attention to the type, is it rhythmic, piercing, loud, ..
- Doesn’t matter what the exact sound is, Do not judge the sound but simply listening.
- Do not label the sound, like good sound or bad observe what you hear with non-judgmental awareness.
- Explore the different type of sounds like the sound of silence, the sound between sounds…
- Observe the rising and passing quality of the sound and how it changes with effortless awareness.
- Practice accepting the sound and do not let it affect your emotion.
Day 3: Non- reactivity – Thinking
- Paying attention to monkey mind and not getting caught up in the stories behind them.
Practice Tips:
- View all the thoughts non judgementally, observe the type of thoughts that arise.
- Are you planning something, is it a conversation that you had in the past or want to have later in the day.
- Observe and let it pass.
- When a thought arises, does it trigger an emotional response..?
- Think of it as rising and passing events.. If you are caught up in such events, gently return focus on the breath.
Day 4: Non- reactivity – Emotion:
- Emotions that we are not comfortable, we run from it.
- We should practice the art of facing our emotions without being triggered/affected by them.
Practice:
- Notice the thought that surfaces, observe the impermanence of the emotion.
- See how the emotion fades away.
- Hold the curiosity in the emotion and watch it pass by and return to the breath.
- Practice not to get caught up in the rapid of emotion.
- Name the emotion – like fear, sadness, angry and watch it non judgementally.
Day 5: The Judging Mind
- The practices help us dig deep into our day and experience life and by being more effortless and joyful. One of the most important quality to cultivate is that of a Non-judging mind. We are often judging things in life like late or on time, affordable or expensive, sometimes they help us in keeping informed but the act of constantly critiquing others is harmful as it not only fills us with negative thoughts but also damages our relationship with others. Even the act of self-judgment should be moderated so that it does not hamper our confidence and start accepting ourselves the way things are in this moment.
Practice: Bringing awareness to our judgment both self and others and practice a non-softening critical mind with patience and non judgement.
Day 6: Mental Noise as Addiction
- Common Problems
- The tendency to grab on to thoughts that cross our mind, regardless of the fact that they are useful or not.
- Don’t have the ability to say No to such thoughts.
- These are generally the thoughts that lead to insomnia, and even after falling asleep these continue and lead to stressful sleep.
- Practice Tips
- Is this (the thought) useful ? , like the email that I need to send later in the day , is that useful?
- Observe where the mind is bring it back to breath over and over again.
- Understanding that obsessing on thought about a conversation that happened with someone earlier is Not useful.
- Everytime the mind drifts, think – is this useful ? and bring the mind back to the breath.
Day 7: External Cues as Mindfulness reminders
- Sound as mindful cues: Using the sound of bell to come back to the present moment and out of thought.
Practice:
- Throughout the day try to think of external cues to bring you back to present.. ie: door sounds, phone keypads, fridge noise.. etc.. this will help you to practice mindfulness.
Day 8: Beginners Mind:
- Explore the concept of beginner’s mind and approaching the world with Fresh pair of eyes.
- We think we know a lot in the area of our expertise and often that leaves no room for growth.
- Often our mind is full of preconceptions and beliefs and if our mind is full, there is no opportunity to learn , explore possibilities on what could happen and our learning stops !
- Example: Try to be like a Childs and see its mind and the way of exploring things with fresh eyes
Practice:
- Try each sensation during the practice with beginners mind as though its the first time you are experiencing that feeling..
- Bring this attention of beginners mind in our relationship with family members, co-workers and are able to listen what they mean and they feel to be seen.
- Bring complete attention when you are in a cooking as though you are doing it for the first time, when talking to family member as if its the first conversation you will have with them.
- When we get unstuck on our beliefs, ideas we will then be open to new concepts we grow.
Day 9: One Step at a Time
- Paying attention on purpose in the present moment…
- Emails/ Mobiles/ Social Media – with distractions, leads to an unfocused mind because our focus is on too many things at a time.
- The solution is focusing on one thing and only one thing at a time !
- One step at a time can be practiced anywhere anytime.
Practice –
- Mindful eating – just eat, no TV or books. (I don’t remember when was the last time I ate without any distractions.)
- Focus on awareness of every bite you take, every mouthful and savor the taste..
- when spending time with family member – shut the phone down as its the current moment that matter most..
Day 10: Grasping and Aversion
- Understanding that there are many things that we cannot control in life.
- It’s impossible to Expect that things around us should change in order for us to be happy.
- The perfect circumstances for the most part are unattainable.
Solutions:
- Develop Equinimity .. –> less reactive to external conditions.
- The goal is not to have everything perfect, but the goal should be to befriend things that we perceive as obstacles to happiness.
- Reach a stage where we can welcome discomfort, welcome obstacles, and welcome fears.
Day 11: Riding the Waves
- Non-reactive awareness – sitting in the riverbanks and watching the waves..
- Avoid getting caught in the waves of thoughts.
- Knowing that you cannot stop the waves but always learn to surf.
Solution
- Notice the thought of anger, joy, pain, or regret – and inspect the thought and emotion without reacting to the thought and trying to remain aware of the breath.
- Cultivating the practice observe the sensation both physically and mentally is the key.
Day 12: Letting Go:
- Clinging on to anger, regret, opinion, suggestions.
- Letting go of our opinion or anger does not mean we are giving up or giving in !!
- Holding on to the events that happened in the past, grudges that don’t serve us tend to imprisons us.
- Often I Live in the scenarios that happened days before and always keeps me awake as I try to sleep.
- The More we are able to Let go, the freer we become !!
Practice:
- You are not your thought !! notice the thought and let it go !
- Recycling the same thought over and over again only clutters our mind ! – Every time you breathe in, with the out-breath let go of the thought.
Day 13: Balance and Nourishment
- Mindfulness helps in raising awareness of the present moment and what’s going on around us.
- Mindfulness helps us identify if we are off–balance.
- Attaining life balance helps us be happy and enjoy small things that matter and brings nourishment.
Practice:
- Scan through the body and pay attention to the things you observe.
- Feeling stiffness? Tired? Edgy? –> Did you Exercise? Did you get enough Sleep and had time for yourself to relax?
- As you practice meditation daily, balance and nourishment grow and you will know what is keeping you in the right balance.
Day 14: Questioning our thoughts
- We recycle repetitive stories over and over in our mind, Imagine someone else repeating their same stories again to us , we would get bored but we won’t get bored when it is our thoughts.
- “I should have done this or that”, “She/he did this just to upset me”, ” I will fail if I try” many such thoughts come in our mind..
- Be conscious and question these thoughts.
Practice:
- Questioning the thoughts will help us to challenge them! – is it true?
- Notice – when you are having repetitive thoughts?
- Are we seeing or focusing on the negatives
- Are we exaggerating or magnifying the thoughts
- Are we seeing things using a mental filter?
- Question the validity of the thoughts!
Day 15: Catching ourselves
- Identifying the triggers (people, situations) and more importantly the response – (smoke, eat , lashing out etc..)
- We don’t want to get into the situation where we are doing the above things repeatedly before it becomes a habit.
- With practice, we can identify and catch these situations and stop them before these turn into habits.
- So as always mindfulness is the first step to change.
Practice:In life, there are so many triggers, it’s easy to get caught up in any one of them and resort to unhealthy responses.As awareness develops,
- We begin to notice our conversations with these triggers and not to lash out at the moment.
- We Resist the pull to the response habits
- Lessen the degree of reactiveness
- Take alternative actions like go for a walk or do things to deescalate the situation.
Day 16 – Leaning in
- Focus on diving into the emotion to identify and release them..
- Getting comfortable with strong and difficult emotions.
- Do not avoid emotions that are difficult, painful.
- When you “name it” you can “Tame it”.
Practice:
- Lean into any uncomfortable emotions that arise.
- When a strong emotion rises
- Stop, and offer it full attention
- Lean into it and get intimate with it
- Observe it
- Stay with it, investigate and befriend it by accepting it
Day 17 – Allowing
- Label the thoughts that arise.
- Happy thoughts, sad, angry, planning etc…
- Allow the thoughts and slowly get back to breathing..
Practice: by placing your awareness to every sensation and not judge it as good or bad.
Day 18 – Impermanence
- Law of impermanence – we don’t have to hold on to things so tightly.
- When things end – we deepen our acceptance and understand that everything is temporary …
- All beginning has an ending.
- The best way to practice Impermanence is by meditation.
Practice:
- With practice, you will see all emotions are temporary and it will end.
- Notice regardless of the emotions are positive/negative they will end.
- When you come across strong emotions you will know that it will end. – “This too shall pass!! “
- Thoughts. emotions and breaths – will pass.
- Working with impermanence prepares us for life – (when we are sick, heartbreak, failures ) – we will know that it will pass.
Day 19 – Loving kindness:
- Self-compassion and loving kindness towards ourselves.
- People believe compassion towards others is important, but very few talk about self-compassion.
- We are generally unkind towards ourselves, critiquing our issues, etc – we should equally be compassionate towards ourselves.
Practice:
- While you practice breathing, with every breath try to bring kindness towards self.
- Offer warmth, patience, and compassion.
- Allow yourself to be friendly towards yourself and treat the way you would treat a child.
- Key Phrases for loving-kindness:
- May I be healthy
- May I be strong
- May I be at peace
- These are different from affirmation as we don’t want to convince ourselves but want to be compassionate towards ourselves.
- Catch yourself when you are criticizing yourself., stop and show some compassion.
Day 20: Maintaining Momentum
- It’s extremely important that we maintain this momentum with meditation.
- Meditating continuously gives us a sense of ease, connectedness and Joy
- Meditation helps you in getting out of autopilot.
Practice:
- Do it every day and try the same time every day!!
- Create a personal meditation space. Find a spot specific for practice.
- Keep in mind that it’s a restful activity.
- Keep track of the ways how practice is showing up in day-to-day life.
- Get support from members / online forums !!
- Let go of pressure and expectation. No good or bad in meditation. – practice with a non-judgmental attitude.
Day 21: Practice in each moment
- Find ways to practice in day-to-day life.
- Realize the hidden gift of the present moment.
- The benefits of mindfulness come only by applying it through numerous practices.
- Use of mindfulness trigger (Bell, or any activity that can bring you to the moment)
Tips for practice:
- Create external mindfulness cues (bells, planes, traffic light ) to trigger you back to the present moment.
- Use the ring of the phone to listen to the conversation deeply and attentively.
- In Traffic – practice mindful breathing to cultivate patience.
- When strong or painful emotions arise, remember the nature of impermanence (everything will pass).
- Do one thing at a time, when you eat –> eat deliberately, when you walk –> walk deliberately, when you play –> play deliberately
- Pull yourself out of auto-pilot every day and ask yourself are you paying attention to what you are doing right now!
Conclusion:
These 21 days have taught me a lot. As I practice more of such meditations I hope I will be able to center myself better, Notice the emotions that are triggering me, and understand the law of impermanence. I know that the key is to practice more and more for better results and I will let you know in the next 6 months how my practice has been.
